Ego-Death; the benefits of meditation and not thinking.

Today I was having a conversation in another group about being mentally “present” and the value of not constantly thinking. This women’s  guides were telling her she thought to much and it was making her upset because she didn’t understand what they were trying to say. She felt (like many people do) that to stop thinking would be to lose her identity. But it doesn’t do that. It expands upon and changes your thinking, it expands upon your identity.  It’s almost like being born again, but you don’t lose your old memories and personality.This conversation,  took me back to my 2nd ego-death that I experienced in April 2014.  I forget that it can be a scary thing to experience for some people,  unless your living in a mental nightmare -than it is a welcome relief! It’s not something to be afraid of although it does create a profound inner shift.

 “Long-term meditators have brains that are wired for positive emotions”.-Shawn Achor
 

What do I mean when I say a mental nightmare? Well here is an example of one nightmare I wanted to awake from. The thoughts and beliefs that made me feel I was worthless because that was at the heart of many problems I had drawn to my life at that time. I was trying to change but I couldn’t change my mind or my deeply held  beliefs about myself.   I had been trying to fix this for a long time to change my thoughts, beliefs, and attitude,  but I was in a mental prison that I could not break out of and I was in a lot of pain. When we take the time to examine our beliefs and where they come from we learn that we adopt our beliefs about many things early on in life from our family and from what they told us and how they treated us. If we were told we were beautiful we are loved and lovely than we grow up believing that. We carry ourselves differently. We talk with confidence, we look people in the eye, we take care of our bodies, we smile more, we carry our body confidently which leads to positive outcomes for yourself.  There is a lot of research out there that shows that being pretty, confident, and happy definitely leads to better success and outcome in life.  I think it’s pretty common sense right?

“The more you believe in your own ability to succeed, the more likely it is that you will.” -Shawn Achor
So what happens, if you were told you were an ugly piece of no good crap like I was? What if you were hit, abandoned and abused and told you were worth nothing?  How do you think that would affect your sense of confidence, your relationships, the jobs your chose in life, your social life, etc. etc. ?  What if someone told you you could heal and fix this? Don’t you think you would want to figure out how to get rid of those beliefs? So someone tells you, that belief you have,” I am worthless” is not the truth,  they tell you to meditate to still your mind and learn to be in the NOW in the PRESENT and not in the PAST but it’s really hard to do because it takes daily practice and effort to retrain yourself.  But if you do this, and the longer you do this, your bound to have a shift of perception and if your lucky an ego-death and a profound transcendental moment of clarity. Hopefully many moments like I have had.
 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
 My 2nd ego-death came  about a little differently, I didn’t just have one negative belief about myself, I had a million negative beliefs becuase my life had sucked, I was in hell, and I was suicidal because of my beliefs that had led to a hundred bad choices, emotions, and experiences. So there I was I was crying and in so much pain I couldn’t get out of bed I cried until one day my mind just ” broke”. It literally exhausted itself! I thought I was going to throw up, I was so dizzy.  I thought I was going to die than after about a few minutes, I just started laughing and laughing! I was like ” oh I get it lol !” The longer you stop ” thinking” and you can be present the more you stop solely identifying with your thoughts and your beliefs. You can actually take control of your mind and change your beliefs and re parent yourself. Your  mind will not like this process, and it will fight back and tell you it’s something to be afraid of but nothing happens except you stop thinking and you become present. Hallelujah!
The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly — you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe that you are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.-Eckhart Tolle
 The more present you are the more you start to connect and identify with your soul and everything around you becomes alive. You  eventually come to realize the only thing that died was your limited way of experiencing life and your constant thinking. It’s a weird thing to go through I know, I thank god it happened to me! I have a lot more presence in my life today. I mediate and ground and practice many things daily to stay in the now. I have been healing and dissolving and fixing all the previous traumas and choices and there is a lot more space now. It’s like I can take a step back and watch the bad thoughts like on a movie screen and say wow those are some crazy dramatic thoughts lol. I still get pulled in and become identified with my thoughts, but I have a lot more days of peace now.  My higher self and my soul is in control these days.  Thank God!
Check out the work from  Harvard Professor Shawn Achor,  who is a happiness researcher to see the link between meditation and happiness and not thinking.

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